A Crossroads (+ I'm Hiring!)

I've been at a weird crossroads in my life.

I started blogging 10 years ago as an escape from real life, a way to fuel creativity, and to have a little space on the internet to call my own.

10 years is a long time. Things change.

The industry has waxed and waned many times over. Huge OG bloggers have altered their career paths and/or created exit strategies (some honorable mentions include Chiara Ferragni of The Blonde Salad and Leandra Medine of Man Repeller turning their blogs magazine-style and Rumi Neely of Fashion Toast creating a highly coveted clothing line).

With new platforms came new ways for creators to be influencers (Instagram didn't even exist when I started blogging, can you imagine that?). Oversaturation now abounds. When everyone's an influencer, is anyone an influencer? "App fatigue", a term that would have made no sense five years ago, became a real thing. Algorithms on Instagram and YouTube kind of screwed over creators who have been on the respective platforms since the beginning. I feel like my content is better than ever, and hardly anyone sees it, compared to before. Gone are the old days of growing two thousand followers a day and being featured on Instagram; numbers seem impossible to grow without the help of loop giveaways and other tactics. It's just a lot to keep up with. All of it.

In addition to that, I don't find the same satisfaction posting about what got me here in the first place. Cute clothes, pretty makeup, what version of avocado toast I decided to photograph and eat this morning. It all feels so...empty. I'm not knocking anyone who posts this, because I still do too (I mean, just look at the photos in this post), but I have so much to share with the world and I'm afraid of my only impression on you guys being this one-dimensional view of who I am.

I'm someone who fights for human rights. I'm someone who rescues animals. I'm someone who looks out for people financially struggling because heaven knows I grew up in their position. I'm someone who makes spectacularly ugly faces, who has 10,000 inside jokes with their significant other, who hates smiling but adores laughing, and who is bad at dancing and does it anyway.

There's the option of starting a YouTube channel. But that made me wonder...is it too late? I'm so far behind in that sphere. I'm not sure if you knew this, but I've been filming and documenting my life for YEARS. Like, since 2012 or so. At the conclusion of each video story, my own fears of starting too late kept me from putting those clips up.

All these things had kept my spirits down over the last year or so. People say numbers don't matter, but they absolutely do when that's how you make your whole living. However, I've luckily been afforded the opportunities to find intrinsic value in helping other companies grow in the digital space behind the scenes, which helps me stay sane and motivated immensely. It gave me room to just say, "Eff it", and do whatever I want on the internet. You'll notice a lot less in-your-face ads and cheesy product placement, because I'm posting a lot of things that I want to post, instead of whatever makes me money.

I finally feel freed up to extend that carefreeness and desire to create, without worry of numbers or stats, into the YouTube space.

This post was a half-vent/half-job posting, because with all that being said...I am looking for a video editing/graphic design intern for a PAID internship!

If you're a self-starting and motivated video editor and graphic designer, please email me at eugenie@feralcreature.com with your resume and portfolio--hope to work closely with one of you soon!

Missguided top / Glamorous pants / Sol Sana boots